


let's take each moment as it is (time's running out)

by awkwardbromancewithdrawals (tothegirliusedtobe)



Category: Twilight RPF
Genre: (ok not that the actors would actually want to read this shit but meh), M/M, RPF, it's really innocent ok, twilight - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-19
Updated: 2014-02-19
Packaged: 2018-01-13 01:08:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1207189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tothegirliusedtobe/pseuds/awkwardbromancewithdrawals
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Outside of his trailer, Robert is supposedly dating Kristen. Inside, he is Taylor's. And Taylor is his.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	let's take each moment as it is (time's running out)

**Author's Note:**

> I've finally given into the Twilight. It's scary and kind of liberating. I swear I'm not obsessed, but every time these actors come up my fingers itch to write stuff about them. (Yeah, Robsten died a long time ago for me.) I don't apologise for anything unless you're Taylor or Robert, in which case: hi, please proceed to fuck each other. This fic contributes nothing to society, my wallet (no copyright for me whatsoever), or actual lives of real people.  
> I don't really give a fuck what others think about it. Everyone has their sins. At least I don't believe I'll go to hell for this one.

A silence fills the trailer, lazy and peaceful, only interrupted by the sound of slow breathing. Robert can't remember feeling this calm in months. It's like someone has pushed the pause-button in his life, and he's frozen in this quiet moment.

 

He knows someone could bust into his trailer and catch him and Taylor lying like this. Technically it's innocent—their clothes are still on and it's not like they're doing anything sexual right now—but really, someone seeing Taylor curled up against him, sound asleep, head resting on his chest, wouldn't do their reputations as straight Twi-hunks any good.

 

But then again, it's three o'clock in the morning. You'd have to be crazy to visit someone at that ungodly hour.

 

That's why Rob's not afraid of letting his fingers comb through Taylor's hair, trailing a path up and down his neck and gently stroking his cheek every once in a while. When they're alone like this, nothing can hurt them. No nasty rumours nor stupid assumptions about their private lives are able to harm them in here. Outside of his trailer, Robert is supposedly dating Kristen. Inside, he is Taylor's. And Taylor is his.

 

Taylor scoots a little more onto his chest, softly mumbling something incoherent. Rob has got used to Taylor talking in his sleep, and as opposed to his reaction the first time he heard it, he merely chuckles.

 

Nothing is official as of now. They're not dating, not even sleeping together (not in the figurative sense, that is), and no one knows about them. What, when and how they're going to make it official isn't clear yet. And although he knows Taylor wants more clarity on that, Robert's alright with taking things slow.

 

He's all right. They're all right. It's all that matters for now.

 

***

 

Usually, they're careful not to show any kind of 'inappropriate' affection in public. Their secret is one to be kept between them, and only them. They act like good friends, do the things normal, straight co-stars would do. Kissing and other intimacies are not done until they've reached the safety of either one of their trailers.

 

Not today, though. Nope. Their careful ways long forgotten, Taylor is shoved up against a wall and kissed roughly before either of them can say the words they wanted to, such as "I've missed you" or "thank god you're back from Italy".

 

Taylor's hands are tangled in the other's hair, pulling him closer and trying to deepen the kiss even further. Moans are swallowed, lips are bitten and boundaries are crossed. The lines Taylor had once clearly drawn—"No hands below the waist, Rob!"—have faded into nothing. Unwritten rules are broken within seconds, by means of the simplest of actions. Rob's hands, seemingly glued onto Taylor's ass, defy anything they'd agreed upon.

 

Said hands are lowering from Taylor's behind to the backs of his thighs, still enthusiastically squeezing. Letting out a somewhat louder moan, the younger one leans back against the wall and proceeds to wrap his legs around Robert's waist. It's all new and exciting for the younger actor; they've never done this before. Hence Robert pauses for a moment to look for permission. It takes a nod and a gentle nosebump for him to continue.

 

As Robert's lips descend onto Taylor's jawline, gently nibbling and eliciting soft sighs from the other's mouth, footsteps and faint voices can be heard. Not too close, but close enough for them to break apart with half-muffled gasps, looking for the origin of the sound. Not waiting for Taylor to come to his senses, Robert lifts him up and hurries to Taylor's trailer. Once the footfalls are out of earshot he lets him down, slightly out of breath.

 

They stare at each other in silence.

 

"Shit, man," Robert eventually chokes out.

 

"Yeah," Taylor breathes, right before falling into his arms again. "I've missed you."

 

The older one lets out a soft laugh. "Missed you too. Next time I'm going to Italy, you're gonna come with me."

 

"I will. Let's just call more often, 'kay?" He looks up sadly. "You and I both know we're not going to be able to see each other every day, not with our jobs. So we're going to have to figure something out…"

 

Robert stays silent, knowing he hasn't finished talking by the way his voice trails off and his body has stilled in his arms.

 

"Y'know, doing this strictly in private gets kinda tiring after a while…"

 

Robert steps away abruptly. "We've gone over this. It's better if we keep it a secret."

 

"But why?" There's a slightly whining tone to his voice.

 

"Because I'm not ready for it." It's half a lie, but Taylor believes it. One day Robert will tell him Summit wants—needs—everybody to think Kristen and him are dating, and they wouldn't be too happy to find out about Taylor and him, but for now he'll feed him this little white lie. He believes it.

 

Taylor's gaze drops to the ground, sadder than before. Guilt washes over the Englishman, but he forces it down. It's for the best. He'll understand.

 

***

 

He should have told him the truth. If anything, it would have saved them from a lot of fights. Fed by lies and started by means of pent-up frustration, the disputes became more frequent. They, alone, more often than not ruined the little time they had together. It resulted in two miserable people, who didn't have anyone save each other to talk to when it came to their relationship.

 

***

 

"The Rob I know isn't afraid of being himself," Taylor snaps angrily for what feels like the fiftieth time, slamming his fist down onto the kitchen table. "Since when are you scared of being honest?"

 

 _Since Summit practically forced me into faking a relationship._ He winces at the thought. It's been like that for about a year now, but now that he has a significant other he would do anything for Summit to change their mind.

 

"I'm not scared of being honest." It's the truth.

 

The brown eyes he's been avoiding turn from blazing into pleading. "Then what are you afraid of?"

 

"The press. I'm known as the Twilight star, the hunk of the Saga, and so are you! Imagine what could happen with our reputations, our careers if we came out?" This isn't a complete lie, it's the truth—just exaggerated a bit.

 

"Do you really care about that?" His voice is steady, but his eyes display the seed of doubt that has been planted in his mind.

 

"Don't you?"

 

Both questions remain unanswered. Taylor sits down on a chair, shoulders hunched in defeat.

 

"So you're saying we should break it off?"

 

Robert can't see his face—he isn't sure if he wants to—as he takes a seat as well. "No… Not really. We should just… take a little break." Thank God he'd had some acting lessons when he started out. Being able to keep your voice from trembling is an amazing feat when you're hiding the truth from the person you love.

 

Taylor looks up at him, expression not the least bit brightened. "A little break?" he repeats bitterly, surprising his boyfriend. He's never heard Taylor sound so cynical. The usual cheery tone is nowhere to be heard, and it breaks his heart a little.

 

"Just until…" He bites his lip, knowing that what he's going to say next is not going to elicit a positive reaction either. Should they really take a break until he and Kristen won't have to pretend anymore, then it would last until after the last movie. Considering they yet have to release the second one… Well, if the roles were reversed, if it had been Taylor who suggested a break, the relationship would have been over pretty quickly.

 

"Until when?" There's a sharp edge to the younger's voice.

 

"Untilafterlastfilm," Robert mumbles, looking away. Jesus, he's such a pussy.

 

Taylor raises his eyebrows.

 

"I was thinking, you know, it would probably affect our careers least if we came out after the whole thing…" he says lamely, making vague hand gestures.

 

"The whole thing meaning—" Taylor starts, but then realisation seems to dawn on him. "After the entire Saga?" he whispers, sounding small and broken.

 

Robert doesn't have to look at him to know his eyes are filled with tears. "Yeah."

 

A tense silence hangs in the air, only to be broken by the scraping sound of Taylor's chair being scooted backward forcefully, and a slamming door. A sound somewhere between a hysterical laugh and a choked sob follows.

 

Real fucking smooth, Pattinson.

 

***

 

He manages. There is this sort of empty feeling inside of him, but he's determined to ignore it. There are evenings in which he breaks down, when excessively drinking alcohol is all he can do, but as the days go on, they become less frequent. As they say, life goes on, and Robert's life is no exception.

 

When he hears from multiple people Taylor has taken a liking to Taylor Swift, his new co-star, and they're probably dating, he has to swallow several times before regaining the ability to speak. And even then, the raspy "That's nice, they'd be a cute couple," that comes out of his mouth sounds awfully unconvincing, even to him.

 

He knows he should be happy for Taylor, but he cannot feel anything but envy for the younger one's ability to move on. He told himself that he'd deal with it, he'd get by without him. Before his fame, he'd had plenty of girlfriends, girls with whom he'd shared the bed. How could one boy change him so much? It shouldn't even be possible.

 

It's so unfair how Taylor moves on just like that while he's still stuck on moping over what he's lost. _What I let go of voluntarily_ , he corrects himself repeatedly. _Because it's better for the both of us._ But it doesn't feel better.

 

 


End file.
